Caleb's Birth Story

Wow, well I am a mommy now.  I anticipate this being a long blog entry with details that you might not all want to know. For me, I want to remember everything from the day he was born and am willing to risk over-sharing to do so. I will do my best to pre-warn you for things that I think others might view as TMI. :)

Tuesday I went to my 39 week doctor appointment and hadn't dilated at all and he hadn't even fully dropped. We joked around about how he might be a Super Bowl baby or even a week into February. I had expressed wanting to be done working because of how uncomfortable I was and my doctor agreed and wrote a note saying Friday, January 27th needed to be my last day. I met my friend Mary for dinner and then went and walked around Target. When I got home I just went to bed.

Like any other pregnant woman, I woke up several times to go to the bathroom. At 3:45 I went to the bathroom and climbed back into bed to have my stupid lovely dog in my spot. After a bit of wrestling with her to move her (possible TMI) I felt like maybe I peed myself a little. Annoyed, I went to the bathroom and everything seemed fine. (Looking back now, I believe this is when my water broke.) I went back to bed but was restless because my alarm would be going off in a few hours. I got up, showered, got dressed and even straightened my hair. (possible TMI) (5:30 am) I was getting ready to put my make up on when I felt like I peed myself again. I was annoyed because I didn't even feel like I had to go. As I am getting all situated, I noticed that the "pee" wasn't really stopping. After a few minutes of doubt, I yelled out to Michael that I thought my water broke. He was asleep and I don't think he really believed me considering my appointment the night before made us both believe we still had a week or two. I decided to...monitor the situation.... a little longer before making any decisions. I mean, i had never experienced my water breaking before and I didn't want to look like an idiot and go to the hospital and them send me home.

Around 6 am I decided to call the doctor, call into work and tell Michael this was happening. He got up and began getting ready. I was having a few contractions- but nothing more severe or regular than I had been having for weeks. Since I was calm and felt fine..just leaky...I decided to make the bed, wash some dishes and straighten up a bit. What was Mike doing during this time? Searching EVERYWHERE for his wallet. He ended up finding it and we left the house around 7:30. We got to the hospital at 8 am and Triage confirmed my water broke (which at this point...I had not doubt), but I still wasn't dilated, thinned out or dropped.

9:15 we got our room and they had me walking around for 30 minutes to try and get my labor started. At this point, I was have a few irregular contractions. They went ahead and started me on Pitocin around 9:45. I'm not sure what time it was, but my parents and sister showed up shortly after. (Even though they knew it was going to be a while, they couldn't function in society knowing their baby girl was in labor. :) Also, Crystal was my photographer and she couldn't risk me having an insanely fast labor process.) As my contractions got stronger and more regular, I felt fantastic. I was bored from laying down/sitting and got to bounce on a bouncy ball! For some reason, I had always hoped I could and was glad that I was able to.

Every 15-30 minutes the nurse would come and up my pitocin. Since I had stated that I would eventually get an epidural, they decided they wouldn't check to see if I was dilated until I asked for an epidural. I don't remember what time, but around lunch time my sister and parents went to the cafeteria. As Michael and I were talking, I was feeling more uncomfortable. The pain from the contractions wasn't anything I couldn't manage- but at this point in my labor process, it was the most pain I had felt. Since I knew I would want an epidural and it would take an hour to have them get to my room, I went ahead and asked for one. (I'd like to point out that my nurse kept commenting on how I appeared to have a high tolerance for pain. To me, it is all about mindset. I knew that pain would be a part of this journey and I knew that the pain that I was in would only intensify.)

My epidural experience was laughable. I use "laughable" because I feel like the stigma I have attached to epidurals is that they are painful. I was more uncomfortable that the woman could see my butt than I was about the epidural. To me, this was mortifying. I mean, I guess it is what it is, but my least enjoyable experience with the epidural was that my butt was exposed. :)

I felt really defeated because after my epidural, they checked and I was only dilated to a 2. I felt frustrated because I was hoping I would have made more progress, but the nurse said I was basically completely thinned out and that I should be proud of the progress I made.

I don't remember where this fits in, but on some of my stronger contractions, his heart rate would drop. As they monitored this, it didn't seem to get better and they feared there was a cord issue. They decided to put more fluid around where he was and that seemed to help.

Eventually, more family and friends showed up and were in the room hanging out. At 6, I was checked and was dilated to a 6. At 6:15 I felt a lot more pain so my nurse decided to check again and I was dilated to a 7. At 6:30 I was in more pain than I could handle. My nurse called to get my epidural settings upped because all I could do when having a contraction was cry. Even thinking of it now brings tears to my eyes. For the first part of this pain my sister was the only one in the room and she would hold my hands through the contraction. Since I hadn't been progressing that fast, Mike had gone to the cafeteria with his best friend to get a drink and was unaware of how fast things were changing. When he came back up to the room he and my sister were there helping me through this pain. In between the contractions, I explained the pain I was feeling and the nurse said it sounded like Caleb had dropped. Sure enough, by 7 pm I was completely dilated and he had dropped.

Not really sure what happened between 7 and 9:20, but at 9:20ish, I was ready to push.
I remember getting really hot and needing a cool rag on my head.

I remember feeling nauseous and getting sick in a bucket.

I remember Family Guy being on behind my doctor's head. (Speaking of doctor, it wasn't even mine who I had in delivery.)

I remember Mike watching the monitor and knowing when my contractions were coming and getting ready by grabbing my leg.

I remember my sister and her encouragement as I pushed.

I remember having the rag over my eyes and my eyes closed through almost the entire pushing stage.

I remember barely speaking.

I remember being fed ice chips like I was a baby bird.

I am reluctant to share my honest opinion of the next part in my story, because I don't want to scare any of the expecting mothers I know-- but it is part of my story and I don't want to forget it. Also, could be TMI?

The closer I got to the end, the more painful it was. As he moved into the final position, I was uncomfortable and ready for it to be over with. I told myself I needed the next pushes to be the last pushes.
Push 1: I felt an intense amount of pressure and his head almost completely out.
Push 2: I felt myself rip and his head come out.
Push 3: I felt the shoulders and body come out.

(During the last three pushes I was yelling and screaming out in pain. I mean, feeling myself rip was not something I'd like to ever experience again.)


Apparently when he came out- the cord was around his neck- but since everything happened so fast- he slipped through it rather than it getting caught. (THANK GOD!) When he came out I still had the rag on my eyes and eyes closed and had to force myself to open them through the pain so I wouldn't miss it. The feeling of delivering him and the afterbirth was crazy. I felt so empty inside...no more painful pressure: it was a feeling of relief. That feeling of pure bliss lasted about as long as it took for me to feel the doctor start stitching me up. Um..ouch! But they fixed that problem and I went back to being on cloud 9.

Finally. We had what we had been waiting 39 weeks for. Caleb Ethan Keller. Born January 25th, 2012 at 10:54 pm. He weighed an adorable 7 pounds and was 20 inches long.

After about 17 hours of labor (the first 5 weren't even really considered labor....and the last hour and a half was pushing) I received the most unbelievable gift I could imagine: my son. While the 6:00-7:00 hour was extremely painful and my last three pushes were a pain I would never like to experience again--- my overall experience was amazing. I honestly can say that it was the best day of my life. Everything I experienced was just a step in meeting the most amazing piece of my life I never knew I was missing. I made the joke that apparently I had signed up for a natural child birth because I felt the most extreme of extremes. Even with the pain I felt-I can't say I would change a whole lot about Caleb's birth story. It is what it is and he is here now.

I am so thankful for the support group I have. Michael was exactly what I needed him to be. He was supportive and nurturing. Even now that we are home, he is so helpful and considerate of how my body is trying to recover and he tries to make things easier for me. He is learning so quickly and eager to be a good dad. This experience has brought us closer in almost every way possible. I am sure it wasn't easy for him to see me in pain- but he was strong for me.

I am so thankful my sister was able to be in the room with us. She was there to take pictures of the experience and first moments in his life--but was so much more than that. She was encouraging and supportive. I can't even imagine her not being there with us to share the experience. I had the perfect support team.

*Side note:* I have never hidden my anxiety about delivery. I was nervous about being exposed and the pain. I am not at all upset to admit that everything everyone told me about how "you won't care" was COMPLETELY true (except the nurse seeing my butt during the epidural). I didn't care who was in the room looking at me because that wasn't what was important. You all would have been so proud of me. :)

(I did leave my socks on though) :)