What Am I Missing?

I am starting this blog post with a lot of hesitance and will probably write and rewrite many parts.

I just finished my 3rd week of school and am having some weird thoughts and emotions. I feel as though there is a distance between my students and myself. I feel like I am having trouble connecting with them and am not really sure why. I have 2 theories:

• My class last year needed me more. What I mean is that (from what I can tell at this point) my class last year had more emotional needs than my class this year. They don't really seem to need me in the same capacity as my group last year. As a whole, this class is very well behaved, respectful and obedient. It's just such a different type of challenge from last year.

• My hormones are making me feel different. I feel like I am more impatient and irritable. I don't mean for it to sound like I am a grouch all day--bc I laugh and joke around with them-- but I am edgier...and I don't like it. For example: I must have had 89,000 dumb questions/comments/stories today that I think I would have found amusing last year.

    Student: "How much longer until school is over?"
    Me: "There is a clock by the door and we dismiss the same time everyday."

    Student: (for the 3rd time) "Can I move my desk over there?"
    Me: "Why would I say "Yes" this time if I have said "No" every other time?"

    Student: "Mrs. Keller, I am finished with my assessment."
    Me: "And what did I say to do when you finished?"

None of these examples are really terrible...but the annoyance I felt inside wasn't logical. There was no reason to be that annoyed by any of these questions/comments. Just like there was no reason to be that annoyed about the cafeteria not having popcorn chicken and mashed potatoes at lunch on Wednesday.

I feel like one of my biggest strengths as a teacher is my ability to connect to my students and genuine desire for them to feel safe in my room and be able to function <successfully> in  the real world. What I fear is that since I am having trouble connecting with them, they won't be as successful.

Maybe it was just an off day....or week. I hate feeling like this. I want to feel more connected to them. Maybe I felt the same way last year and just dont remember- I just hate not knowing where or why the disconnect is happening.