self-reflection at it's best...or maybe worst

Many days, I work myself up into these moods where I feel like I should be doing things differently. I hear what other teachers are doing and I feel so inferior in comparison. In their rooms, they do stations, have long term self-sufficient projects, creative math games as well as several other creative outletts. In their rooms, they have all the time in the world to conference with students, differentiated instruction for every subject, quiet voices and busy minds. In my room, I hear 11 and 12 year olds talking incessantly and short-term goals being made because long-term ones are just not being developed yet. Focused on week by week survival seems to be a trench I have dug for myself. Remediation and enrichment are crucial components that are somewhat lacking in my classroom.

You may think: "Wow. That is just terrible. How can students be successful with a teacher who doesn't adapt every lesson to meet the need of every student?"

My response? "You're dumb."

Yep. That's how I feel. An elementary and immature response is all that you will get. You are dumb.


I know what my strengths are and I am reflective, intelligent and humble enough to know what I need more help/practice with. At this point, I know that I have my standards almost unattainably high for myself; however, I ask you- what is better; unattainable goals that are set high for myself? or shallow goals that aren't beneficial to myself or my students? I want to be a better teacher. Plain and simple. Thus far, I am proud of what I have done- but I know I am capable of better. It would be an injustice to my students if I thought I had already reached my full potential.

I know that Reading and Writing are my strengths. The books I choose are engaging and I am getting great thought-proving responses to what we do in class. I am extremely proud of this. I will not apologize for saying what I am good at or be ashamed of admitting what I need more help with. My goal (of which I will not set an ending time to attain this goal) is to become a more individualized teacher. Focus on remediation, enrichment with an overall "No Child Left Behind" attitude.