Random Thoughts That Are Too Short For Individual Blogs

I need to work on being better about asking for help. I am not a fan of asking for help and I have two reasons:

• 1.) If you wanted to help you would. This logic isn't the best because it assumes that if someone doesnt offer to help, it is because they do not care---when really...they just might not think I need or want help.
• 2.) I don't always mind "doing everything" but I appreciate the offer. When it comes to Caleb I just feel like he is my responsibility and that I like spending time with him- so why ask for help?

These two reasons, unfortunately, lead me to resentment. It is dumb...and irrational...but poor mike...I am so quick to get mad at him sometimes. I am good about knowing when I am being unreasonable, and will let him know that I know I am being unfair. We both have things we could work on, but I know I could be better about asking him to help with something rather than being upset he can't read my mind.

This takes me to how much I LOVE my husband. He is such an unbelievable daddy. He loves that kid so much and is so good with him. He is really good at calming him if he is upset and loves to talk and play with him.


So I am  big on non-verbal cues. I am an observer and a lot of how I act around people is based off of how I see other people act and the reactions of people around them.

• I see the way people look at you when you are being self absorbed and talking about yourself all of the time = I try to not talk about myself too much.
• I know how I feel when you monopolize a whole conversation and I only say a word or two and you dont even seem to notice = I try to make sure conversations are more than just me talking
• I know how I feel when I dont think you have a heard a word I say because you are focused on what you want to say....and interrupt me to say it = I try not to interrupt
• I see you ask how Caleb is/how I like being a mommy and turn to talk to someone else as I answer = I keep my answers short
• Everything you say is a complaint/something negative = I try to embrace the good
• I saw and heard how people reacted to your decision = unfortunately, even if I want to, I don't feel like I can make the same one

Basically, we are products of our environments. There is no reason for me to post these observations...they really all stemmed from the time someone asked me about caleb and turned to talk to someone else. It annoyed me and perpetuates my feelings that people don't really want to hear the answer...they are just being polite. (I am not saying ALL people.)


It is crazy how I am almost back to my prepregnacy weight (I gained 40 and have lost 34) yet my body is SOO different. I cannot fit into prepregnancy jeans and shirts look hideous. I knew my body would change, but I think I may have been in denial about it. I can't wait to start working out again...except that I will likely want immediate results and I wont want to be away from Caleb.

I hate how fast time flies. I mean, I will have been off for 6 weeks this wednesday. Luckily I still have 4 more to go, but I HATE how fast it has gone. The day just flies by. I have so many things I need to do and feel like I rarely get anything done. Grad work. CIA Yearbook. Housely duties. *yes I made up housely* Renew drivers license. Pay bills. If I am having a hard time now, I am sure it will only get easier when I go back to work. Right??

Back to work??? Yes. Cannot wait. My students have been perfectly behaved so it will be nice to go back to them. I am so proud of their self-control and respect for authority. It's comforting to know they have done welll in my absence and that there have been 0 behavioral issues. ::shakes head in denial::

Lastly, I tried to have my first experience away from Caleb. I know it is important for me to not have my first time away from him the day I go back to work. So I decided I needed to go buy new jeans and I was going to leave him with Mike....you know...his father...who is FULLY capable of taking care of him. Well just as I was getting ready to leave, I started crying and decided I didnt really need any jeans. Mike smiled and said, "Do you need us to go with you?" and they came with me. lol. I went to Old Navy and they went to Dicks. Essentially, I did get alone time...but felt comfort because I knew they were "with me." :)