January 2012: Welcoming a New Life

Today is Saturday, May 21st, and I am 4 weeks and 2 days pregnant. :)

That's right, I have taken 3 tests and have finally decided that its positive. I say this because I took one last night and the part that indicates that it is positive was faint in color. I decided to not really think much of it and wait until the morning when they say hormone levels are higher. I took one and the line was slightly darker. I was kind of bummed because I just didn't feel like I could say with certainty that I was pregnant. I decided to take another one (which was a different brand) and I don't see how I can argue internally about it not being positive.

After reading the directions and information online, I believe it is so faint because I am so early on in the pregnancy. I mean, 4 weeks and 2 days is pretty freaking early! My baby doesn't even have a heartbeat yet. lol.

Even though I know I will not post this blog for weeks, I wanted to write down how I feel at this moment.

When I finally let myself accept that this was positive, I began to cry.

Tears of joy, relief, worry, fear, anxiety-- everything. I have wanted this for a while now, and holy cow- it worked! I am hesitant to say it-- out of pain it might cause others-- but this was our first time "trying." I know several people that have had the toughest time getting pregnant and some that simply cannot get pregnant- so while I am beyond thankful that Michael and I were able to get pregnant so quickly, my heart goes out to the women who struggle. It is part of our story and our journey to becoming parents, and I cannot change that.

I am planning on telling Michael tonight. I can't keep secrets that I am excited about, so I will tell my parents/siblings probably race day weekend. I don't plan on telling friends until after I see a doctor and wont publish this blog/put it on facebook until probably July.

(here are some pics of how I will tell michael) (this is all of the stuff I have acquired along the years...notice a theme?)

(5-6 weeks) I only have a short time until summer break, but somedays I don't know how I will make it! One day in particular I didn't eat enough and was getting sick and almost passed out in the hallway. Well, this caused a panic attack because I was surrounded by teachers that didnt know I was pregnant and my blood pressure stayed high enough that I had to have my mom drive me to the doctor. Needless to say, my coworkers and students know that I am 5ish weeks pregnant. Whoops.

(7 weeks) I am sooooo nauseous all of the time! I am just so thankful that I am on summer break so that I can lay on the couch and randomly get sick in the comfort of my own home. I have noticed that if I make plans and get out of the house, I don't feel as bad--which is probably because I am distracted. Also, we had our first ultra sound. :) That was an...interesting visit...but seeing my baby and my baby's heart beat....and HEARING it's heat beat, is something I will NEVER forget. It was so surreal.
(((Due date: January 31st)))
((heart beat or heartbeat...I dunno))

6 weeks 6 days
((sooo small)) :)

(8 Weeks) ZOFRAN!!! My new best friend---anti-nausea pills. Lucky for me I can take 3 a day. Unlucky for me, insurance only let me have 24 pills for 30 days....weird. This week has been rough because I feel like my belly is getting bigger. My pants are tighter where I fasten them, and I can no longer suck in my gut. This sucks because when I don't suck it in, and just let it all hang out, I look WAAAY more pregnant than I actually am. I'm sooo stoked to be pregnant, but I don't like looking 5 months pregnant at only 8 weeks.

(9 weeks) Feeling pretty normal this week. The anti-nausea medicine works almost every time and when it does- I feel normal. (mostly) When it doesn't work, I am worthless. I have gotten out of the house a lot...but I feel kind of like a zombie. I don't feel sick...but I don't have a lot of energy either. Sleeping at night is getting rough because I am a belly sleeper and although I am still able to do it, it makes my stomach sore. Logical, right? Also, grad school started this week and I think that keeps me pretty distracted....so distracted that I sometimes forget to eat. hmmm. Wonder why I then feel nauseous?

(10 weeks) This week we took a road trip up to Mike's grandma on the farm's house to tell her that we are pregnant. It went well. No major issues. One day I was fine and the other I wasn't---so pretty normal. She did keep insisting that I looked like I was having twins...and I would have to politely remind her that its just my gut--not 2 babies. :-/  What I have noticed this week is how sore my lower abdominal muscles are. I guess it's a good sign- it means they are stretching and making room for the baby.

(11 weeks) I feel like I am showing now. I mean, you probably cannot tell, but I can. My lower abdominal area is bigger and firmer than normal. I swear it just happened within the past few days! We had our 2nd doctors appointment today (Thursday, July 14th). Other than the hour and a half of waiting, the 5 minute appointment went great. Heartbeat was fine and everything else looked fine. I'm excited to see what changes over the next few weeks!

I wasn't going to post this until I was in my 2nd trimester. (13ish weeks) But then I decided I'd go ahead and post it when I was 12 weeks (Tuesday, July 19th)--but I have other things I want to blog about and in those blogs I want to mention being pregnant and I am kind of getting impatient....soooooo I am just going to go ahead and make it "facebook official" today...when I am 11 weeks and 2 days pregnant. :)